Love by Definition

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, everyone!!!

I know all of you love bugs are excited about the opportunity to show that special someone exactly how much you love them. However, have you ever questioned if you truly love them by God's definition?

We tend to throw the word love around very causally. By this world's definition, love is an emotion. It's a feeling that can change from minute to minute or moment to moment. It's that goo-goo gaa-gaa feeling you get when you see that person. It's the butterflies in your stomach, the constant thoughts, and the big cheesy smiles exchanged.

By the Bible's definition, love is completely different. Paul defines love in 1 Corinthians 13. And by the Bible's definition, it's made clear that love is a decision, not an emotion, and the decision to love has to be made in both good times and bad times.

Let's break down the attributes of love by biblical standards.

1. Love is patience/suffers long—We tend to think that we can only love when it feels good. But true love is proven in the difficult times—when you can hurt and still show love. When you can patiently wait, while you are suffering, for God to work out your loved one's issue.
   

   
    

2. Love is kind. It does not envy, boast, and is not proud—Love is not mean, jealous and prideful. These ideas of "he does it because he loves me" or "her jealously just shows that she cares" are absurd. That's insecurity and not love. Love is humble, caring, and kind.
   

   
    

3. Love is not rude, self-seeking, easily angered, and keeps no record of wrong—When you love someone, you lose any attitude you may desire to have towards them, and your main concern is for their feelings and well-being and not your own. I once heard a minister say, "Love asks what can I do for you, while lust ask what can you do for me." Which question are you asking? And more importantly, which question is your partner asking? In addition, you don't become angry easily when you truly love someone, and you don't keep a list of everything your loved one has done wrong when true love is in play.
   

   
    

4. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth—If your loved one is manipulating, lying, or abusing his or her place in your life, that's not love, and you shouldn't settle for it. True love is built on honesty and the truth, not little white lies that "really don't matter that much."
   

   
    

5. Love always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.—Self-explanatory, huh?
   

   
    

Love by the Bibles definition isn't easy. It may even cause you to hurt and suffer long at times. That's why it's important that you guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23). I am a firm believer in praying about a person before you open your heart to them. That way when you decide to love them, you know it is a person God has sent to be loved by you.

I've also learned a number of other love lessons over the years.

• If you don't know how to be alone, you will never know how to have a productive relationship. There's nothing attractive about being dependent on another person for happiness.
  
• Deal with your insecurities before you enter a relationship. I have a friend who repeatedly picks girls who appear to have it all together, but behind the scenes, they are a mess. I always wondered why he did this, and then I realized he is very insecure. Strong women who truly have it all together intimidate him. In the end, I feel sorry for him. He comes from a family of strong, got-it-together women, and he's truly attracted to them, so he's never going to be happy as long as he's settling for less that he desires or deserves.
  
• Women you can't be so strong that you make a man feel less than a man. It's not about playing blonde. You just have to allow your man to do things for you so he feels needed.
  
• Sex is not the most important attribute in a relationship. If you pick sex, over everything else, you're truly and idiot and don't deserve to be happy, lol. The best sex comes with intimacy, but sex does not create intimacy. Learn the difference and abide accordingly.
  
• The foundation of a long lasting relationship is always friendship. ALWAYS!!!
  
• To be productive, love must be a two-way street. If one walks down a one-way street, heart wrenching pain is sure to follow.
  
• Relationships of convenience are a waste of time. They may feel good temporarily, but in the end they add nothing to your life. Avoid them. Check out what Chris Tucker said about them here: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&friendID=51056250
  
  
• Causal dating is for causal people, and I'm not causal. Prove to me that knowing you is going to be beneficial to the person I am becoming. If you can't, please don't waste my time. I'm waiting on God to give me the go-ahead, and I'm content with doing so.
  

Happy Valentine's Day!!!