Emotions are a mug. And if you're not very careful, they will rule your every move before you know it. There was a time when my emotions were in complete control of me. I was going through serious relationship drama, and I was HURTING—not just hurting, but HURTING…that Mary J. Blige "I'm Going Down" type HURTING!!!
During this time, I had come to know God's plans for my life, and every bone in my body desired accomplish His plans. Unfortunately, the HURTING that I was doing seemed to trump my desire to accomplish God's plans for me. It wasn't my lack of desire that was the problem. It was my lack of control over my emotions. See, it's hard to do anything productive when you are crying 23 hours a day and your eyes are red and nearly swollen shut. It's also difficult to be productive when you are thinking of all the ways you could ruin someone's existence if you were really "that type of girl." And while I didn't want to be consumed by my HURT and anger, I didn't know how to control these emotions so I could stay focused.
I remember I used pray, "God, I promise I'll do your will, but just fix this situation, so I can focus on what You want me to do." Every day, I cried and prayed this prayer, and every day my situation and problems stayed the same (or got worse). For awhile I was confused. Did God not hear my prayers?
I soon came to learn that it wasn't that God didn't hear my prayers. He had heard me the first time I prayed. But God was trying to teach me a lesson. God wanted me to learn to focus through my emotions. The Bible makes it clear in Psalm 34:19 that "many are the afflictions of the righteous," but if you don't stress and trust God "the Lord will deliver [you] out of them all."
Looking back, I understand that my relationship snafu wasn't all that serious. But the enemy had created the drama to distract me. At that point in my life, the enemy knew if he sent a little man drama, I would be too caught up to work on growing my business. I would be too preoccupied to spend time learning God's Word. I would be too worried to spend time in prayer. And with all of this "unfocusness," I could never reach the place God had promised me.
One of my spiritual mentors brought greater understanding last week. The enemy is attacking the body of Christ with spiritual ADD. satan (I refuse to ever capitalize his name even if it does come at the beginning of a sentence. he just doesn't deserve that much recognition ;-)) knows just what to do to cause us to lose focus on God and His plan for our lives. The enemy throws our emotions so out of whack that we feel like we can't control them. Fortunately, I've learned as bad as it hurts, as angry as you become, and as depressed as you feel, you must not let those feelings come between you and your God-given destiny. You must be able to stay focused.
To the surprise of many, focus is not dependent upon your feelings. Focus is a decision you make, despite how you feel, to accomplish a task. Focus means you work when you don't feel like it, you pray when your sleepy, you read the Bible when you just want to get in the bed, you sing praises when you feel your world is ending, and you cry when you have time.
True, it's good to get your emotions out, but it's only good when you do it at the right time. Put your emotions on a schedule. Don't allow your emotional breakdowns to stop you from working, paying your bills, praising God, and walking out your destiny. Work during the day and cry out night. Stay focused, despite how you feel, to ensure you reach your God-given destiny. I know I am.
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