Understanding Christmas

This Christmas has been a difficult one for me. I remember around Thanksgiving I told my mentee, I hated the Christmas season. Not because I hate Christmas, but because I truly despise everything Christmas has become in our society.

    At that time when I thought of Christmas, the image of people knocking each other over and physically fighting for the hottest gift of the season and amounting an excessive amount of credit card debit came to mind. I hate the commercialization of Christmas that has occurred; therefore, I simply made a decision not to participate in it.

    In all honesty, I didn't have money to splurge on gifts for everyone either, especially people who wouldn't appreciate or felt as if I had to give them a gift. And pulling out the credit cards to do so was not even an option in my playbook…but then there was Cameron.

    I remember my Christmases as a kid, and they were nothing less than magical. I remember the Christmas of 1988 in particular. On this particular Christmas, my sister and I got up at 5:30 am to a living room that resembled Toys 'R Us. We had everything from the newest Barbie and her car to baby strollers, high chairs, and chalk boards. It was such a beautiful day.

    I loved the way I felt on that Christmas and every other Christmas in my life. I firmly believe that every child deserves to feel the Christmas magic that I am so familiar with. Let's be real, kids' lives have gotten much more complicated than mine was in 1988. Most of them are unfortunately dealing with adult problems. Don't they deserve a day to escape the reality of their situation and just enjoy, and even indulge in, the magic of Christmas?

    That's what I want for every kid. However, my son is a little different. This kid has absolutely everything a child could want and/or imagine. This is a kid who can walk through the mall, see a Wii, make a phone call, and have the money for it in 10 minutes. The logic behind it: he's a good kid; he did good in school; get him the Wii.

Because he has so much stuff the logic in me tells me he doesn't need another thing for Christmas. However, the emotion in me wants to see his face light up when he sees my den running over with toys and looking like a local toy store.

And in the midst of balancing my logic and emotionalism, I really have to stay focused on the true meaning of Christmas—Jesus Christ!!! I know that's not popular to say these days, but in trying to balance the commercialism of the season, have we really forgotten that the whole holiday is about Him choosing to give His life for us?

So in the midst of my internal battle this Christmas, I've been keeping my son focused on the fact that as cliché as it may be, Jesus is the real reason for the season. We've read the Christmas story in a couple different books in the Bible, and we've talked about the importance of giving to others during the Christmas season. I even took it a step further this year and begin to discuss with him why Jesus' birth is so important.

Jesus came to the earth for one purpose: to die for you. Yes, if you had been the only person on the earth, Jesus still would've left His father's side, entered into the earthly realm, suffered the criticism of the church, and died the horrendous death of the cross just for you. As important Jesus dying for all of humanity is, it's just important for each of us to understand he did it for us individually.

The story of Jesus' birth and death are in fact one. It is only because He came, lived, died, and rose again that we have the ability to talk to our heavenly Father through prayer. Without the blood of Jesus, we're not even worthy to come before God in prayer—and can you imagine a life without prayer? I know I can't. In addition, it would be impossible for us to enter eternal peace in heaven without Jesus. It is His blood that cleanses us from our sins and enables us to walk through the pearly gates.

I'm sure Cameron didn't completely understand the concept of Jesus' birth, but I'm positive he received a greater understanding, and I'm sure that he realizes Christmas is about more than Santa Clause. He actually gave Jesus a big Happy Birthday today without having to be reminded or briefed. That made me smile. That made me pleased.

This parenting thing is difficult, but at the end of the day, I think I came up with a pretty good solution. Before Christmas, Cameron pulled toys to give away to less fortunate children. For Christmas he received a nice portion of the things he wanted, but nothing excessive, and most importantly he learned something new about Jesus, and he understands that Jesus expects a gift on his birthday as well.

Life is Like Math

Life is a lot like math…as long as you know the principle and equations, you can solve the problem—no matter how complicated it appears to be.

I got into a slight altercation with a friend this weekend because I criticized someone's actions regarding their marriage. I'm not sure if she felt I was trying to be a "know-it-all" or if she just found me unqualified to make the statement since I'm not married, but the conversation ended with her saying, "What do you know? Where's your husband?"

That was suppose to go for the jugular, but at some point the truth stops hurting, so I just laughed it off. However, the whole incident did get me to thinking. Did my lack of marital experience real disqualify me from giving sound marital advice?

I've always been taught that you should act like where you want to be because ultimately you attract what you put out. (On the real, do you want to see how you appear to other people? Look at your circle of friends. That's what people think of you—good, bad, or ugly). Based on this teaching, when I decided I wanted to get married, I went to my guidebook for life (the Bible) and began studying the principles it laid out for marriage. Thus every belief and idea I have on marriage is based on what the Bible says it should be.

I say all of this to say, as great as practical experience may be, having the right answers isn't the key to life if you don't know how to do the work to solve the problem. You know you heard that in math classes. High level math books always have the answers in the back of the book, but writing those answers never guarantee you an A in the class. You have to prove that you have a comprehension of the principles behind the problem.

I'm confident that I can handle any situation life throws at me. Not because I have previous experience in every particular situation, but because I have an understanding of God's principles of life. Whatever problem that comes up in my life, I simply pull out my guidebook, apply the correct principle, and solve the problem accordingly. Sounds pretty simple, right?

So the next time you ask me for advice, please don't think I'm trying to be a "know-it-all" or even Dr. Phil. I'm not. I'm simply sharing with you the principles of God that I live by. They work for me, and they've work for millions before me, so I'm sure they will work for you if you work them.

Today's Tips

• You want to go to a different place in life or take on a different role? Learn God's principles for that position. God lays out principles for every imaginable situation in the Bible. It's just up to you to read and learn the principles.
  


• While the Bible should be your foundation for learning life's principles, don't be afraid to pick up other materials—just make sure is doesn't contradict God's Word. God's Word and principles are true and should not be supplemented with contradictory materials. For example, the Bible states that we should all be honest in our business dealings, so if another resources states that business men may have to bend the truth in business dealings, you should immediately reject that work because it contradicts what God has said about the issue.
  


• Take the time to read and learn God's principles. I feel prepared for life because every day I read God's Word and study more principles. Therefore, I know how to handle life when it comes at me. Trust me, when I don't indulge in the Word before life grabs a hold of me, I feel like crap, and the results are usually crap as well.
  


• As you prepare to vote in the upcoming election, ask yourself, "Who is principled enough to make the right decision in every situation?"
  

Look Past Your Emotions & Stay Focused

Emotions are a mug. And if you're not very careful, they will rule your every move before you know it. There was a time when my emotions were in complete control of me. I was going through serious relationship drama, and I was HURTING—not just hurting, but HURTING…that Mary J. Blige "I'm Going Down" type HURTING!!!

During this time, I had come to know God's plans for my life, and every bone in my body desired accomplish His plans. Unfortunately, the HURTING that I was doing seemed to trump my desire to accomplish God's plans for me. It wasn't my lack of desire that was the problem. It was my lack of control over my emotions. See, it's hard to do anything productive when you are crying 23 hours a day and your eyes are red and nearly swollen shut. It's also difficult to be productive when you are thinking of all the ways you could ruin someone's existence if you were really "that type of girl." And while I didn't want to be consumed by my HURT and anger, I didn't know how to control these emotions so I could stay focused.

I remember I used pray, "God, I promise I'll do your will, but just fix this situation, so I can focus on what You want me to do." Every day, I cried and prayed this prayer, and every day my situation and problems stayed the same (or got worse). For awhile I was confused. Did God not hear my prayers?

I soon came to learn that it wasn't that God didn't hear my prayers. He had heard me the first time I prayed. But God was trying to teach me a lesson. God wanted me to learn to focus through my emotions. The Bible makes it clear in Psalm 34:19 that "many are the afflictions of the righteous," but if you don't stress and trust God "the Lord will deliver [you] out of them all."

Looking back, I understand that my relationship snafu wasn't all that serious. But the enemy had created the drama to distract me. At that point in my life, the enemy knew if he sent a little man drama, I would be too caught up to work on growing my business. I would be too preoccupied to spend time learning God's Word. I would be too worried to spend time in prayer. And with all of this "unfocusness," I could never reach the place God had promised me.

One of my spiritual mentors brought greater understanding last week. The enemy is attacking the body of Christ with spiritual ADD. satan (I refuse to ever capitalize his name even if it does come at the beginning of a sentence. he just doesn't deserve that much recognition ;-)) knows just what to do to cause us to lose focus on God and His plan for our lives. The enemy throws our emotions so out of whack that we feel like we can't control them. Fortunately, I've learned as bad as it hurts, as angry as you become, and as depressed as you feel, you must not let those feelings come between you and your God-given destiny. You must be able to stay focused.

To the surprise of many, focus is not dependent upon your feelings. Focus is a decision you make, despite how you feel, to accomplish a task. Focus means you work when you don't feel like it, you pray when your sleepy, you read the Bible when you just want to get in the bed, you sing praises when you feel your world is ending, and you cry when you have time.

True, it's good to get your emotions out, but it's only good when you do it at the right time. Put your emotions on a schedule. Don't allow your emotional breakdowns to stop you from working, paying your bills, praising God, and walking out your destiny. Work during the day and cry out night. Stay focused, despite how you feel, to ensure you reach your God-given destiny. I know I am.

Left All Only

The fact that I feel all alone has really been bothering me lately. I know I've spoken before of feeling like my friends and people just don't understand me, but this has been a different type of alone. I really can't say that my hell (my troubles in life) has gotten worse, but they feel different. It feels like I'm running a marathon. You know when you only have five minutes left, but every bone in your body is telling you to stop now. I feel like I'm at the end of hell. I can see the finish line and my promise, but my energy is faltering to the point that I'm wondering if I will even make it to the finish line.

As I struggled with finding the strength to make it to my finish line, a scripture came to mind:

""Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them."

--Matthew 20:18-20

That was my key. All I needed to do was find someone to come into agreement with me, and then I would be sure to reach the finish line (and my promise). Once I found a prayer partner, everything would be tied up neatly with a bow. Unfortunately, finding a prayer partner wasn't that easy of a task.

I know and respect some true cover my family with the Blood, snot flying, crying, praying women. But I don't know any of them well enough to call them up and ask them to pray for me, and I truly didn't feel comfortable revealing the most inner secrets of my soul to them. So they were out of the picture.

Next, I went down the list of my "close" friends. Now, don't get me wrong, I love each and every one of my peeps. They each serve their purpose, and my life would be void without them. I just don't see any of them as my prayer partners. As "close" as we are, they really don't know ANYTHING about the journey God's been taking me on for the past four years, so how could I get them to agree with God's will for my life. I've tried to explain my situation to them before, but it either went over their heads or they tried to discourage me from doing what I know God told me to do. At first my feelings were hurt, but then I became grateful. God gave me a whole 'nother revelation of who the enemy (devil) was through these situations. Jesus' telling Peter to "get behind me satan" (Matthew 16:23 and Mark 8:33) made so much more sense. The devil can use your friends, who usually have the best intentions, to detour you from your destiny. Some of you need to check your friends because satan is running all up and through them to mess you up, but that's another story.

Back to the subject at hand, once my folks were out of the picture, I was left with my son. Now, he's absolutely amazing. At the age of seven, he has a wonderful understanding of God and who He is in our daily lives. I'm so proud of him. He was amazing for the first week and a half, but then he got mad at me, said I didn't like him, and refused to pray with me. LOL, you gotta know (and love) my kid. As great of a prayer partner my kid was, it had been determined that he wasn't dependable. But would any pray partner be completely dependable? Could I count on anyone to be there for me all the time?

The answer to that question was a definite no. Sometimes in life you're just going to be alone—even when you're in a crowded room. I learned that the day before my kid resigned from praying with me. I was in church, a church with about 7,000 other people, when my pastor told us to get a partner. Why did everyone in around me have a partner but me? I felt so odd. I mean, how can I come to church and still not find a partner to believe with me. If I was crazy, I would think God didn't want me to touch and agree and get my promise.

For awhile, I would find Christian and gospel songs that spoke to my situation to pray with. They would be the partner that would ensure Jesus was in my midst. And that worked great. But as I took a mentorship course, I got a greater understanding of what was going on. The minister talked about Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46). Jesus was facing His biggest trial (the cross), and He picked His closets and most spiritually mature friends to go to Gethsemane and pray with Him. For some reason the disciples just couldn't do it. They kept falling asleep.

As my teacher told this story, it clicked in my mind. I'M LIKE JESUS!!! I thought. No not in the sinless, perfect way, but in the fact that Jesus couldn't find anyone to pray with Him and neither could I. Jesus made it through His trials with only His prayers, so I could too. Jesus received His reward without prayer partners, so I could too.

As I grabbed a hold of the fact that I was in good company, my teacher gave a deeper explanation for my inability to find partnership at this point in my life. "You can't find anyone to pray with you because the level you're about to go [to] is not their grade," she stated. "They can't sustain your level of intercession. Your friends can't sustain in this level."

Good, bad, happy, or sad, my people aren't where I am right now. I don't say that to be arrogant. I believe everyone is where they work to be, and I've sacrificed and paid tremendous cost to have the relationship that I presently have with God. And the reality of the situation is they just aren't with me so they can't help me. I mean what kind of sense would it make for a 12^th grader to ask for help on calculus from your average 5^th grade. NONE!!! So why would I look to people who aren't working to get to where I am spiritually to help me stand on the things of God.

In reality, this situation wasn't about my friends or about me finding a suitable prayer partner. It was about God telling me, "You're going to get through this with Me and Me alone. For I will never leave you or forsake you."

Verse of the Day: "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." –Hebrews 13:5

Song of the Day: "On the Other Side of Through" by James Bignon

Lessons Learned: 1) Everyone, no matter how good they are or how much you love them, can't go with you. You have to leave some people behind or they're going to stop you from reaching your goal.

2) No matter how alone you may feel, God is ALWAYS there. Lucky for you, He's all you need to make it through your trial and to get to your promise.

Do Good; God Has Your Back

The days after Hurricane Katrina were hard on me. I had been an emotional wreck for awhile due to some personal issues I had going on. My finances were a complete wreck, and I just felt all alone in the world. I had been crying and wallowing in pity during the weeks preceding Katrina. It just felt like I had been in that miserable, awful place for way too long, and I wanted God to come and rescue me. "Hadn't I suffered enough?" I had repeatedly asked God.

Hurricane Katrina snapped me out of my self-pity. See, to me, my situation was the absolutely worse. No, my problems weren't the worse ones in the world, but they were my greatest fears all coming upon me at once, and that is what was killing me. But after Hurricane Katrina, I could no longer concentrate on my pitiful situation.

Hurricane Katrina was the straw that broke the camel's back. It put me face to face with people who were fighting for their lives and the lives of their children. They had basically been dropped in the midst of hell, complete chaos, with no food or water. For me to watch thousands of people suffering with seemingly no one coming to their aid made me physically ill. I was disgusted that my country, the greatest nation on this earth, would allow its people to suffer so unnecessarily. In the midst of my pain, disgust, and confusion, I actually walked out of my job and sat on the curb. I needed to be alone. I needed to talk to God.

As I sat in the parking lot, I cried and questioned God. "Why was this happening? Why was no one trying to help?" In the midst of talking to God about what was happening on the Gulf Coast, my mind went back to my problems. In that moment it seemed the entire world was in chaos. Why was God allowing the whole world to go crazy at one time?

In that moment, God told me that I didn't have to worry about my problems.

"But why?" I asked. "I can't pay my bills."

"If you take care of my work, I'll take care of you."

That statement stuck with me. If I would go about handling God's business, He would handle my business. Jesus discussed this concept in Matthew 6:25-34, where He encourages His followers not to worry about the day to day cares of life. Jesus goes on to explain how well God cares for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field, and if God meets their needs, why wouldn't He meet yours as well.

Acts 10:38 speaks of how God anointed Jesus and He went about doing good. That same anointing rests on you. You have the power to do good for God's kingdom, and in return He will take care of all your daily worries.

Plus, if you concern yourself with helping others, you really won't have the time or energy to obsess over the issues in your life that God is already handling. Try not worrying and instead help someone else today and see what God does in your life.

An Everlasting Love

Believe it or not, I’m a perfectionist especially when it comes to pleasing God. I am my biggest critic when it comes to “falling short of His glory.” God does so much for me on a daily basis, so I strive to please Him in return. I know I can never pay Him back for all He’s done in my life, but I also know that my obedience and sacrifice to Him exhibit my gratefulness.

Honestly speaking, starting my day off with prayer isn’t that hard? So why is it so difficult for me to get up 30 minutes earlier to spend time in prayer? And telling a lie isn’t necessary? So why did lying about something as petty as where I was seem like such a necessity at the time? I know I’m going to feel like crap afterwards, so why not just do the right thing?

I spend so much time thinking about where I’ve messed up and what I could do better that sometimes it’s hard for me to just remember that God loves me. It’s ridiculous that I would spend an entire worship service asking for God’s forgiveness instead of expressing my love for Him and basking in His love for me. But it’s kind of hard to express love to and receive love from someone when you don’t think your deserve it. I when I focus all my energy on my shortcomings, it’s hard for me to feel like I deserve God’s love.

Thank God today was different. As I sat in worship service today, I didn’t even considered where I had messed up or what I could do better in my life. I just thanked God for loving me, for choosing me, for wanting me. It felt soooooo good just to love on God and have Him love on me, without considering the former things.

It’s amazing to fathom, but God knew every mistake and shortfall I was going to encounter long before they crossed my path. He wasn’t surprised when I messed up or was disobedient. He didn’t love me any less. And the first time I offered Him a true, repentant apologize, He forgave me…no questions asked, never to be remembered again. So if God has forgotten my mistakes, who am I to keep reminding Him of them?

I’m not trying to justify sin. And I’m not trying to excuse the behavior that you KNOW you never should have gotten caught up in. But I’m stressing that NOTHING can separate you from the love of God.

You’re not perfect, nor will you ever be. But God’s love is. God’s love is unconditional. It’s everlasting. And it’s unbreakable. Know that, believe that, and live that. Take the time to thank Him for being an awesome and wonderful God. Take the time to thank Him for being faithful and committed to you. And take the time to thank Him for loving you, in spite of the mistakes you make.

Bible Verse of the Day
“For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

--Romans 8:38-39 (Amplified Bible)

Task of the Day
1) Spend 10 minutes today, just thanking God for His unconditional, never ending love for you.

2) Still not convinced that God loves you no matter what? Stand in the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say “God loves me!” Repeat seven times, or until you believe it without a shadow of a doubt.